someone owes me an orgasm
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You need a sexual gate keeper
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
