someone threw a dead crab at me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
