i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
