Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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