Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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