..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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