I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize