Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
