So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
