You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
