she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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