i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
