i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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