Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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