So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
