If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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