my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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