i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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