Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Is it penis luge time yet?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
