Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
A bitchslap is in order.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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