She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
