He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
