I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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