ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
