Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
