16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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