If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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