Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
