I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
