Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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