I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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