I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
