We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
