FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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