Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
