Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize