at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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