How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
At least life still wants to fuck me.