Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster