i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues