At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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