Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
