Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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