I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
