just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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