They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
