maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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