he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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