Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
