you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We had sex on a dog bed..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
