i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
