Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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