So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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