Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
