Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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