Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
