I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
