Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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