I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think my vagina is haunted
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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