6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
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I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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