if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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