come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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